Sometimes You Just Have To Be Ok

There are times in life wherein things can go so bad and stuff can hurt you too bad. But then again, there will be times that you have to ignore that they do that... and then again, there will be times that you have to accept that they're part of your life.

Am I even making sense? If not, then I make no apologies. Little in my life right now makes sense. And you know what? I happen to like it this way. Because the less things make sense, the more I tend to analyze them and the more I get confused... And confusion often leads to a lot of realization...

Is it getting too much like a friendster account? Well, it's a good metaphor while it lasted... The problem is, I can't seem to sustain it...

Let's leave this for another day...

There are times when you have certain ideas pooled in your head about a certain event that hasn't even happened to you...

For a while now, I've been dreaming of going on a road trip... It doesn't matter where we would actually be going, what matters is what happens during the road trip. If people were locked inside a moving vehicle, tensions will arise and of course, they will have fun... At least that's my theory.

Yesterday's road trip was not what I had in mind... First off, I felt as if the two closest friends I have on that trip were mad at me. Well, at least I thought they were because they weren't talking to me... And we had an excess baggage who just refused to be unloaded.

After all the drama (which I refuse to elaborate), we actually got to EK. And in the end, I was wrong. It's not always the journey that matters. Or what happens during the journey. Sometimes it's what didn't happen and getting to where you wanted to go. Once you get there, things will straighten out on their own, you will have fun, and you will cherish the moments even after they've faded from the photographs or your clothes will have dried from the soaking you got. The ride home will be exhausting and you will sleep inside the van, heedless of the stench you smell either from yourself or from your friends. But it doesn't matter. You will scratch off the moodiness of the ride to EK as the result of a sleep-deprived, frustrating night. And you will realize that you are so damn lucky to be doing the things you're doing with the people you're with.

Contemplations of Abandonment

There was a time when I really had a way with words. I made them into fantasies of a life I knew I could never have. And by fantasy I mean out of this world. Only I knew it existed. But that was when I was so much younger. I didn’t know I’d be living in a world of my own making, too.
Oh, I know what it sounds like. It’s not unique. Everyone lives in a world of their own making – or so they would like to think, but the thing is sometimes it's easier to live in somebody else's world...
Maybe I really am coming down with something because I can't make sense of half the things I'm writing. I'm also on the verge of throwing a hissy fit, but then I realize, there's no one to witness it and so it becomes an exercise in futility. A hissy fit loses its redeeming value when there is no audience...
Sometimes we all think life is a little too harsh on us, but the truth is how could it be anything else? It doesn't know how else it should be. We don't teach it to do anything to us or for us. It's like a slot machine. We put in our coins, pull the lever, and the rest is up to this crazy thing called fate.
I used to disbelieve in that, fate. It seemed as if it were an easy way to explain things away. It's as if it was a shortcut away from thinking and to oblivion. But oblivion is good - sometimes, especially if you're going through a lot - or nothing, it all depends.
Like right now. I have better things to do with my time than waste it here in an internet station, tapping out nonsense on this public computer. I should be home, studying for the exam tonight or at the very least sleeping.
I'm not feeling any better and my mood is starting out crappy. I better get home before I ruin this day for anyone else. See ya!